The lock down months have brought a large amount of focus on talking and supporting those of us with mental illness and our new members who have previously not felt mentally unwell. I have been curious how this is going with others because talking to friends and family during my lifetime of mental illness hasContinue reading “There is no talking in mental illness…”
Tag Archives: depression
The ‘paradox’ is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality ‘ought to be’
I had to take a break because I couldn’t think or settle, so here goes… There was a fugue in my head for months. So loud, so abusive that I could not think or sleep. I had to get my meds adjusted and now there is relative quiet, comparatively speaking. I managed to get aContinue reading “The ‘paradox’ is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality ‘ought to be’”
Inside a broken clock
I have not been just absent from here, but from everything. Sometime in April I fell into an oblivion. I drew a long conscious breath on the 3rd of May. I only know this because I felt compelled to write but never posted because, suddenly, I was back to the shadows. I first blamed itContinue reading “Inside a broken clock”
a blanket from the moon
I have been taking magnesium every night, in threonate and glycinate form, for a week. Prior to that I was taking it in oxide form, which is one of the normally stocked magnesium supplements on drug store shelf. This is from the journal article I posted previously about magnesium deficiency: “Magnesium was found usually effectiveContinue reading “a blanket from the moon”
You’re innocent when you dream
Being a shut in suits me. But I already knew that. I naturally social distance, preferring to watch the world rather than participate. The strange calm is still here. Perhaps because they gave me three weeks of work before they chuck me out. It is also being away from the stress and anxiety of theContinue reading “You’re innocent when you dream”
Guided Meditations
I have been listening to this guy. Thought I would share in case it helps someone else: https://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelSealey/videos
The inevitable
I am officially unemployed again. My emotions teeter between a strange calm and what feels like the beginning of a massive anxiety attack. I am exhausted and feel like I could sleep for a week. I am curious about the calm. It is such a peculiar feeling for me. The voice in my head isContinue reading “The inevitable”
the Ides of March
My jury of one will deliberate for a week, but the week has already begun. It began at the beginning of this situation. There is no erasing the past for me. Negatives stay, they are biological waste in big red bags with no where to go. Flaws clearly labeled; always there to remind me. IContinue reading “the Ides of March”
The moon is waning
I am rolls of crushed Christmas wrapping paper cattywampus useful or useless depending on the size that needs cutting but always disregarded
Food for the voice
Today, one month and one day after start date, my new employer says I am not meeting expectations. I have one week to turn it around. This feeds the monster. The voice is alive and kicking. I am a body-less entity. My mind is racing. I have washed my hands a thousand times. I amContinue reading “Food for the voice”
My Broken Brain 