The lock down months have brought a large amount of focus on talking and supporting those of us with mental illness and our new members who have previously not felt mentally unwell. I have been curious how this is going with others because talking to friends and family during my lifetime of mental illness hasContinue reading “There is no talking in mental illness…”
Tag Archives: OCD
a blanket from the moon
I have been taking magnesium every night, in threonate and glycinate form, for a week. Prior to that I was taking it in oxide form, which is one of the normally stocked magnesium supplements on drug store shelf. This is from the journal article I posted previously about magnesium deficiency: “Magnesium was found usually effectiveContinue reading “a blanket from the moon”
a crooked wand
I tend to lump my compulsions into two categories, maybe I shouldn’t but they seem like two different kettles of fish when I consider them. One is what I think of as my everyday rituals. They are so much a part of my life that I just accept them and play the game. The otherContinue reading “a crooked wand”
You’re innocent when you dream
Being a shut in suits me. But I already knew that. I naturally social distance, preferring to watch the world rather than participate. The strange calm is still here. Perhaps because they gave me three weeks of work before they chuck me out. It is also being away from the stress and anxiety of theContinue reading “You’re innocent when you dream”
Food for the voice
Today, one month and one day after start date, my new employer says I am not meeting expectations. I have one week to turn it around. This feeds the monster. The voice is alive and kicking. I am a body-less entity. My mind is racing. I have washed my hands a thousand times. I amContinue reading “Food for the voice”
Magnesium and Mental Health
I survived my first week at my new job without incident, no outbursts, no panic attacks, no over checking. I have been looking for cameras, but I have not managed to find all of them yet. But my new job and broken brain are not why I want to talk to you today. I haveContinue reading “Magnesium and Mental Health”
Is My Brain Controlling Me, or Am I Controlling My Brain
I have managed to get a job. I start Monday. In effort to prepare myself, I have been compulsively doing guided meditations for about four hours a day for the last eight days. I have had a few emotional crying outbursts. Sometimes it is my inner voice telling me I am a failure. Sometimes itContinue reading “Is My Brain Controlling Me, or Am I Controlling My Brain”
A Respite
Friday, I woke up eerily calm after the high agitation. It happens like this sometimes. Not a crash but a level out. I have not figured out the predictors. I took a long shower, until the water ran cold. Got dressed and left the house in the car. I am still in this place. AContinue reading “A Respite”
When seeing and believing…isn’t?
Three days ago, I saw a crocodile on the side of the road. I have been seeing them for about fifteen years. Always on the side, always when I am driving, always still. Crocodiles don’t live here. There are no crocodiles. I was very young when I had my first hallucination. I saw a womanContinue reading “When seeing and believing…isn’t?”
My Old Friend OCD
My emotional stress has been high the last few days and one of my old companions is taking center stage. Handwashing. I wash my hands so much that the hand towels stay cool and damp. I can’t stand it. I don’t like touching them. I have been washing them so much the last few daysContinue reading “My Old Friend OCD”
My Broken Brain 